The following questions are designed to help you identify possible destructive patterns in your past marriage. These are difficult questions that will require a lot of thought. Be sure to answer them when you have time and can give them your full attention: If you didn’t notice any similarities in your relationships, you either have already learned from your mistakes (great!) or you are having trouble being objective. It’s very important to think about the role you play in the relationship with your spouse. Repeating the same mistake over and over will only cause disappointment. When you are able to see patterns in your conflicts, you will have taken an important step toward resolving them.