Whether you are the custodial parent or are involved in a joint custodial arrangement, if your ex has been ordered to pay child support, you might wonder whether you’re better off receiving a larger amount of direct support and paying the third parties yourself or letting your former spouse make those payments and getting less direct support. Conceptually, it is nearly always better to receive sufficient funds directly. It’s about more than money; it is a question of control. When you write the check to the school or camp yourself, the decision-making is in your hands. Yet the subject warrants a bit more thought.
How do you decide whether direct or indirect support is right for you? If a judge decides your case after a trial, you’ll have no choice; whatever the judge decides goes. If you’re settling your case, on the other hand, you can compromise. If your former spouse is the noncustodial parent (or a custody partner with greater income) and is reliable, you’re probably better off having him or her pay the expenses directly to the third party to avoid responsibility for increases in big-ticket items, such as school tuition. If your former spouse is unreliable or disagrees with you about signing up your child for an activity, you’re better off receiving more child support and paying these extra costs yourself. The point of child support is to enable the child to enjoy the lifestyle of the wealthier parent. If that has a benefit to the ex, so be it. One of the most frequent questions lawyers get from their noncustodial clients is “Why can’t I pay child support directly to my child?” (So what if the child is two years old!) “Why can’t I set up an account so I know the money is being used for the kids?” The real question being asked is, “Isn’t my spouse the one benefiting from the child support?” The truth is, your ex is benefiting, to a degree. If your former spouse pays the rent with child support, of course, he or she is also benefiting. The same goes for the phone, electricity, cable TV, and even food. Let’s face it, your ex isn’t going to buy steak for the kids and hamburger for himself or herself.
